have you heard of this song?

Don Mclean - Vincent Starry starry night

Live Older Don's version

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00shaEWlDzU



MTV, young Don in 1972

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRiPHhVcB70&feature=related


Have you thought, if you were to leave the world first, before your loved ones?

The selfish one who rather they miss you OR be the one who s griefing over their death?

I would rather be the selfish one to leave first.

I experienced heart break when my mummy left us.

It wasnt easy at all. Everything seems the lonely, grey and dull.

I would rather people miss me. people talk about me have a good laugh when recall my jokes. cry when they miss me when talk about me.

I imagine.

what if he left first?

I will miss him like crazy.

although he is not mine anymore,or we doesnt belong to each other anymore, he is forever the best guy in my heart. someone who i really wish to be with, have his child and grow old together.

if one day,i were to go.

i hope all my friends and family members and whoever love me, smile whenever you think of me.

dont cry.

I don wish to see anyone sad.

i wish he will cry, cry hard, cry uncontrollably.

Just once. and have me buried deep in his heart. In a corner of his heart. forget me not.

I m not greedy. do i?

********************************************************************************


i feel bad.

first time i heard edwin said he is hurt, deeply hurt by what i say to him.

but i do not want to apologise.

I knew i am at fault for saying those things.

but i would rather you hate me for being ruthless than you remains the same forever.

I knew i did the right thing.

I am sorry .


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My stress level is increasing.

So do my weight :p

I am going healthy and off carbo again.

wish me luck and endless determination! whoo hoo~

my 3rd week in HC.

i am adapting and going strong.

although i feel tired, really tired and falling sick.

but

i must pull tru !

yeah